Yesterday, October 7th 2010, I attended funeral services for a friend of the family’s father. He had been fighting cancer for sometime now but went home on October 4th. I love this family to pieces. The husband is my business partner for the geekFoundry and the wife has watched our daughters both privately and as part of childcare for our LifeGroup.
There are times I feel very ‘big brother-ish’ to the husband. I don’t know that I’ve ever said that aloud but it’s there. I think it’s because I see a lot of myself in him when I was his age now and it’s my natural tendency to hope that he won’t make the same mistakes I did. I regret a lot of what I put my wife through when I was first starting a business on my own all those moons ago. I don’t think I was there for her enough and I know that I could have been a stronger rock for her. So naturally as my friends are going through this hard time I’m praying for the husband to have strength, patience, leadership, and peace.
Going to the services last night I couldn’t really hear well (stupid congestion) so I didn’t do a ton of talking and thus spent most of my time just sitting and observing. It warmed my heart to see my friends handle the situation. Often hard times can draw us together or drive us apart, indeed this is all together more true when it comes to faith in that tragedy can draw us closer to God or pull us farther away (depending on how we handle it). We had to leave early to get our girls in bed and in doing so my friends had been pulled back into another room. I noticed them as we were walking out so I wanted to go apologize for leaving. For a moment I stood in the door way making sure I wasn’t interrupting a conversation or prayer.
I have to say what a beautiful sight it is to see a husband & wife that get it. To see a couple that “works” and just flows as one person, each unique in their own right but one being in spirit. In those few moments of quietness I realized that the husband is a better man than I. Sure I’m not living with them or anything or know the in and outs of their day to day life, but from this distant observer the man is doing a lot of things right where I’ve failed before. Now if he happens to read this I hope he’ll remember that humility goes a long way in any relationship, so don’t go getting all big headed or anything. Yet I am continually amazed at this couple.
Difficult situations can drive us apart or push us together; these two are being welded & galvanized through this process. Perhaps that is the peace to be found in the chaos that is occurring, to know that while now you are being refined by fire but in the end will be stronger and purer for it.
Again, just my observation