It goes without saying that I've got somewhat of a confidence issue. For the longest time . . . as in parts of this process still reside in the corners of my mind . . . I've honestly felt that I'm not really that great at anything. I have honestly felt that I'm a crappy father, a crappy husband, a crappy business owner, a crappy manager, a crappy lifeGroup leader, a crappy . . . well, you get the picture. I just don't think I'm that big of a deal. I don't think I have influence or impact on people's lives.
Last month I focused on reading Proverbs. Most in Christian circles have heard of Proverbs 31 Ministries which is a ministry for women. The emphasis is on the last 10 verses of chapter 31 of Proverbs which in fact wraps up the book. Now, all verses should be read in context so please do so here as I've only listed 2 below:
v11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
v23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
I 100% accept the text as it speaks regarding my wife, she is without a doubt 'far more precious than jewels' and 'dresses herself with strength' and all the other words of wisdom we gleam from Proverbs. Being one that has issues when folks take text out of context or only use part of the text for their own gain . . . am I not forced to accept v. 11 and 23? I am. Now what am I to do? What is my inner self-doubt to do but be irradicated by the light of truth that now shines upon it? Well, I'd love to say it's a one and done deal. For me it's a process . . . one that I'm embracing.
What I gain most out of this is . . . the more I get to know my wife & read God's word the more I get to know me. Now that's an endeavor I'll pick up any day!